Sunday, October 19, 2008
Alhamdulliah
I do cry but thats never forever. Like i say earlier, i can cry as much as i had to but, tommorow will be a new day.I found the strongest strenght in me.
I must admit i need sumone with me to go throught all my darkest day and especially at the peak of my work now, hmm but thats just not gona happen. Well Ross,u've been left alone many times esp when things are at the peak and you feel u cant cope, when the world is pushing u hard. And when u need the right person to cry on, that he is never there.
Ross, no one can help u, no one will change for you, only u can change to make things better.You gave them space,but no appreciate. You've try enough but it seems vague. U are not in the loosing end. Work harder ross.
Work can be demanding but thats what achieving is about.Always prepare for many tries and failure ross. Life is never easy. Life is too short for you to look back. Time runs too fast for u to stop. Only you can do it. Take a step at a time, your strenght cant cope much but she will move on slowly and steadily.
Dont let boss see your tears. Dont let her see how soft you are inside. Show the passion and be focus ross, You can take this reponsibilty and pressure. Make this your playground and a secure foundation.
Dont let the whole world see your tears ross. This should only be between 4 walls.No one must see how u struggle.There is no point anyway, people dont care what you go thru, its only the end results that matters.
If you happen to cry along the a long way or during a bus ride, remember you cry because u can manage and ur happy that u can. U are never at the loosing end ross. Learn to face your fEAR. Overcome it and you'll fine satisfaction. NOT EVERTHING IS THIS WORLD LAST FOREVER ROSS.
Noting happen overnight. Everthing is a test and u'll go thru this test with strenght and never give up. I'll see you a the final end ross where your paitents turn to self satisfaction.
Love, Yourselves
For iam your wife faithfully.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I heard so much about fall marriage and iam officially afraid of marriage at such a young age. I dream about my ''marriage life'' yesterday. Its not a happy one.
I fall in love with a man which i know for over 8 years. There are many ups and down. We fought many , and many left hanging. He hurt me many times but i guess god brought him to me again one day, i accept such fate and love him with all my heart
Marriage was fine for all year thou i know his well kept secret. Like everyone say, its hard to change sumone. I know his out there with other girls but i kept quite. I didnt know what to do but i kow i was strong enough to take care of myself. But one day he came back with a his child and not mine. In the name of god, i took care of his child without questioning why.
I FELT STUPID, WHY AM I STILL STANDING STRONG FOR HIM, SUMONE WHO HARLDLY KNOW I EXIST.
After awhile, he file a divorce case on me. I wasnt suprise as i had already know that i will never get his heart. It was stupidity to let him take advantage of my loyalty.
To cut my dream short, on the last day of our court case, i didnt turn up. In fact i left a recorded tape for him and all to witness. I still remember what i exactly say, i had tears when i woke up
'' Dear Husband
Today will be the last day of us. My pleasure to have you as my husband. In the name of god, i love you faithfully. In the presence of everyone in this court room, judges and all, ive always fall for you since 15 years ago. I dont know how much you love me, but today you have prove your love. Thank you for letting me go. For all this years ive tried my best to be your wife your girl,but my best isint the very best you expect. Dear husband, u can have what ever thing we share,iam moving on without you.Whenu wake up tommor0 always pray for my strenght for iam getting back my life that was left 15 years ago. Dear husband, my name is Ross a wife that never fail to love you and your child.''
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I cried in the bus, Work is killing me.Iam already working like an a project manager cum sales cum operation cum consultant. I dont know how to tell bos that i cant do all this. I anit octopus. The Student market is already taking 80 percent of my job yet she throw me a proposal on monday and expect me to finish a brief one on thurs ,which is tommoro.This aint easy as its reseacrh base.Cumming up i have to prepare slides for the school sales then so on.
God , ive been thru alot this end year, please bless me with more strenght. Alhamdullillah i manage to overcome the earlier even thou my heart havent forgive. Surrounding stop me from moving and seeing the future that ive always been wanting to achive. God, why must i face problem one after another especially went i feel really small? Iam not kidding heare, forget abou giving me difficulties i seriously need power n strenght. God i aint kiding ya
